


But I Want It Anyway

by Poppy Pelican (Sierra_Sitruc)



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Car Sex, F/M, Royai - Freeform, Shameless Smut, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:09:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25541878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sierra_Sitruc/pseuds/Poppy%20Pelican
Summary: “Yes. I don’t want just any baby. I want yours.”
Relationships: Rebecca Catalina/Jean Havoc, Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang
Comments: 27
Kudos: 192





	But I Want It Anyway

**Author's Note:**

> This story starts off with the idea they know feelings are there, but they haven’t done anything about it. Yet.

“He can’t possibly be serious!” Riza said, reading over the letter Mustang dropped on her desk. They had been working in Ishval for just six months—now wasn’t the time to go gallivanting north to Briggs of all places.

“Oh, he’s serious. Threatened to reassign you to Central if we didn’t both leave by the end of the week,” Mustang said, leaning on her desk.

“Central might be better than a cross country trip just to ‘see how the people are doing’ at Briggs,” she said under her breath.

Mustang tutted at her. “Really? You would abandon me just to avoid a road trip?”

Riza quirked an eyebrow. “To Briggs, General. I’d rather walk across the desert to Xing. Barefoot.”

He laughed then, and she knew he agreed with her. Falman seemed to like it up there, and a visit with him would be a nice bonus, but it was still cold, far away, and unnecessary.

“Grumman must want eyes he can trust in Briggs—or some other secret objective he refuses to tell us.”

Riza had an idea of a possible secret objective, and it’s why she considered calling her grandfather’s bluff on his threat to reassign her. He even requested she stop in Central to check in with him.

Very suspicious.

“Some secret objective,” she tapped her chin. “I’ll try and weasel it out of him when we get to Central.”

“I’m sure you’ll have better luck than I would,” Mustang said, shaking his head. “I guess I better go let the team know. You want to start working on a plan for the interim?”

She agreed, saluting as he left. There was a lot to finish before they could depart, but she picked up her pen and went over the letter closer, decoding it. While Riza trusted Mustang, her grandfather was an eccentric, nosy old man, and he liked to add messages in code whenever he sent something to the new general—knowing he would pass on the letters to his adjutant. Riza would have happily shared them with Mustang if the messages weren’t so embarrassing. The last one had congratulated the “most beautiful captain in the military” on her promotion.

She cursed under her breath as she finally unscrambled the message: I want some grandkids.

Sometimes she wished she could snap her fingers and burn something.

Roy found Havoc up to his armpits in the water of a newly constructed canal. The team was overseeing the project, the idea being to restore infrastructure so the rebuilding of Ishval would be running smoothly before long. Breda and a couple of their Ishvalan recruits were in the water with him, diving periodically.

“Shit! General!” Havoc stuttered, standing at attention. The soldiers gave clumsy, wet salutes, all of them looking sheepish.

“Going for a swim?” Roy asked, baiting them.

“Well. Havoc lost his wedding ring, sir. This is life or death,” Breda explained.

Roy snorted. “Rebecca will kill him.”

“Hey!” Havoc yelled. The Ishvalans laughed.

“I can’t lose one of my men over something so frivolous,” Roy drawled. If not for the presence of the Ishvalans, and their discomfort with alchemy, Roy would use a quick clap to search for the ring. Instead, like the others had, he stripped down to just his undershorts and jumped in.

“Oh, this is nice,” Roy said, surprised. It was technically autumn, but Ishval was still oppressively hot. The water was cool without being freezing. He was beginning to see why it was taking the men so long to find the ring. No rush when it felt so good.

“A bit of moisture can be good for you now and then,” Havoc teased.

“Shut up, I used to be blind. You’ll want my skills for finding this ring you stupidly lost.”

“Sorry, sir,” Havoc said, disappearing under the water again.

Roy took a turn, sliding his hands along the floor of the canal until he had to come up for air. It was too late in the evening for there to be enough light to see the ring.

“You have to face the truth, Havoc,” Roy said, slicking his hair out of his eyes. “Your child is going to grow up parentless. Rebecca will kill you. And then I’ll have to imprison her for homicide.”

Havoc splashed him, but he got a big laugh from Breda and the others. Rebecca had been an especially moody pregnant person, from what Roy had seen. Hawkeye doted on her even more than Havoc did. On one of Rebecca’s visits to the office Roy found her with her feet up on Hawkeye’s desk and Hawkeye feeding her some of her secret stash of chocolate. Not so secret, really, given that Roy had already discovered it, but he wouldn’t point that out.

Finally, the wedding ring was found by Breda, who demanded Havoc get it resized to prevent this from happening again.

They all crawled out of the canal, sopping wet and high-fiving one another. Of course, that was when Hawkeye appeared, while they were all still soggy and laughing. And mostly naked.

Roy expected some teasing about slacking off or their state of undress, but instead she averted her eyes.

“I finished a rough plan for our absence,” she said, gesturing to a file in her hand. “I guess it can wait until you are dry. I can see you were all…busy. I’ll just leave it on your desk, General.”

He sighed. He should’ve known she’d excuse herself. She was the epitome of professional. He wondered if she would’ve helped search for the ring in full uniform.

“Absence?” Breda asked. “Who’s leaving?”

Roy explained the fuhrer’s orders, and his men were as baffled as he and Hawkeye. No one could guess what went on in Grumman’s crafty old mind.

“I hope Hawkeye makes it back before the baby is due,” Havoc said. “Rebecca will miss her.”

“I think it shouldn’t take that long,” Roy said. “We might have to avoid the train and take a car—” too many tracks still out from the Promised Day, “—but even then, with Hawkeye planning our route, we’ll be back with time to spare. She won’t want to miss being there for Rebecca.”

Havoc grinned mischievously. “I don’t know, maybe you two should…take your time, if you know what I mean.”

Roy shrugged his shoulders, accustomed to this kind of teasing. Hawkeye had never given him any signal she wanted to be intimate with him—probably because of the anti-fraternization laws. If she gave even a hint that she wanted him…That would be different. He’d schedule in a year at Briggs if it meant having her in his bed.

Riza was reluctant to visit her grandfather after his strange mission assignment, but after six months in Ishval, she also wanted to see how he was doing in office. And there was his personal assistant who made the best lemon tea in Amestris. Riza was convinced he added a shot of whiskey or something into it because it never failed to relax her during her visits.

Through her letters, her grandfather was already up to date on Ishval’s status, so he pried into her personal life over tea.

“I’ve been helping Rebecca set up a nursery.” Baby Havoc was due in just two months. A surprise pregnancy. It had been a hurried, shotgun wedding, but Rebecca and Havoc were blissfully happy, even with him stationed in Ishval. Rebecca had retired from the military so she could follow him. It meant Riza had her best friend nearby—and a willing dog sitter. When the time came, Riza would return the favor as an honorary aunt and spoil the little one.

“Is she enjoying her pregnancy?” Grumman asked.

“As much as she can, I think. She complains, but I know she’s thrilled.”

“Ah, yes. She was always family-minded, wasn’t she?” Her grandfather’s eyes twinkled.

“Yes, always husband hunting,” Riza said slowly, feeling like she was about to step on a hidden landmine.

“What about you?” he asked, attempting nonchalance. “Any interest in a husband?”

“Ha, no,” she said firmly. What she had with Mustang would have to be enough for now. If he ever asked for more, then maybe…

“What about babies? A husband isn’t necessarily a requirement, but they help. Wouldn’t you like Catalina’s baby to have a friend?”

And there was the landmine, blowing up in her face. She never expected the painful, almost instinctual longing that erupted with it. She pictured a chubby little baby with black, messy hair and brown eyes. The vision was there before she could stomp it out, and stomp on it she did, hard.

“Some day.” She couldn’t lie.

“When?” he chuckled, refilling her tea. “You want to be my age when your kid is a teenager? I don’t recommend it.”

“Well—"

“I’m not trying to be a nosy old man. This time,” he amended. “I just know it’s easy to put these things off, expecting the perfect moment to appear. It won’t. It might sneak up on you like it did our dear Miss Catalina—now Mrs. Havoc. Or it could pass you by entirely.” His eyes grew soft. “I don’t want you to waste your time on someone who doesn’t want children.”

“It’s complicated,” she said sourly. He knew that.

“Then perhaps find a new man. One who is family-minded.” He sighed. “I know your father wasn’t the best example for it, but there are plenty of men who embrace parenthood—and are good fathers.”

Like Maes Hughes or Havoc. Her gut told her Mustang would be a wonderful father, and she knew he liked children from the way he interacted with Elicia. But his thoughts on becoming a father himself? It was another one of those forbidden topics between them. Something a subordinate shouldn’t ask her superior.

But her grandfather was right. She didn’t want to miss her chance. 

It was Roy’s turn to drive, and an hour into it, he was already bored. There were more cows than people now that they had left the city, and it was dreadfully uninteresting. And Hawkeye had been oddly distracted ever since her visit with her grandfather the day before. She almost drove through a stop sign while leaving Central that morning, and she was unusually agreeable about letting him drive. Then there was her silence, giving minimal answers anytime he tried to engage her in conversation. Maybe she hadn’t slept well?

He was about to look and see if Hawkeye had dozed off when she broke the silence.

“Can I ask you something, sir? A…personal question?”

Roy furrowed his brow. “Go ahead.”

“You know, Rebecca being pregnant has given me…” Her voice was unusually high. “Do you think—given everything I’ve done—do I—should I even be allowed—” She huffed. “This isn’t coming out right. Let me be direct. I want a baby. I’m just not sure I deserve one. After…everything.”

Roy’s mind went blank, barely able to keep the car on the road. Then he gathered his wits to answer. “Of course you deserve a baby,” he said.

She made a skeptical noise. “I don’t know. I can’t imagine explaining to my child one day that I killed dozens of innocent people.”

Roy knew what she meant. His darkest memories, the ones he did his best to bury, were of the families he murdered in the extermination. Did he deserve to have children? Happiness? No.

But if he said that, did that mean Hawkeye didn’t deserve that either? Unbidden, an image of her with a round, smooth belly taunted him. He could see it perfectly. She’d insist on working far beyond what she should until he bullied her into putting her feet up like Maes did for Gracia. Then he pictured a little girl with dark, spiky pigtails, her eyes brown and innocent like Riza’s when she offered him the secrets of Flame Alchemy.

Then he imagined that little girl lost in flames, her eyes now an Ishvalan red. 

He shuddered, his hands tight on the wheel.

But the world was different now, so he answered with the truth. “I think it’d be cruel to deprive the world of your child, Hawkeye. They will grow up in a better world than we did. It’s something…to strive toward.”

“Hmm,” Hawkeye said, but he could hear the smile in the hum.

“You never seemed the baby type before,” he said accusingly, as he spoke he realized how wrong he was. She babied her dog. Black Hayate was the only creature he’d ever seen her openly affectionate with. Hell, she mothered everyone—even Rebecca Catalina. Hawkeye hadn’t had a boyfriend in a long time, he knew. While Roy occasionally went on dates, entirely for show, Hawkeye started turning them down a few years ago—right around the time this unspoken thing between them had grown into something they couldn’t ignore yet couldn’t acknowledge. She gave him her fidelity, and he found himself returning it. He hadn’t gone home with a date in years.

Then it hit him. She—she wanted a baby. Meaning, someone needed to father this baby. And she hadn’t asked him.

“I don’t plan on having a baby anytime soon,” she said quietly, “but maybe once the groundwork in Ishval is finished…”

“That’s probably less than two years away,” he said, incredulous. Hawkeye having a baby in the far future was one thing, but in the near future...Why hadn’t he considered this before? She wasn’t much younger than he was, and all their friends were beginning to settle down and procreate. He was an idiot for expecting her to just wait around patiently until the right time for them to be together arrived. Whenever the right time would be. He thought she would let him know.

Maybe she’d realized he wasn’t worth waiting for.

“It is,” she said. “The fuhrer reminded me there’s no perfect time to have a baby, and I don’t want to put it off so long that…I miss my chance.”

“I see. Understandable.” He glowered at the road ahead. Was she breaking up with him? Not that there was anything tangible to break, but it felt like that was where the conversation was leading.

“Depending on the timing, I could even train a replacement to be your adjutant. And I’d return to the military after my maternity leave. I don’t want to retire like Rebecca did.” The idea of a substitute in Hawkeye’s place made him stupidly irritated, though not as much as the idea of having to watch her grow some other man’s baby in her belly. He wanted to burn something.

“You’ve really thought this through.” He tried to keep the bitterness from his voice. Why would she bring this up at the beginning of the trip? Did she want him to keep his distance when they were going to be in such close quarters over the next few weeks?

“I thought I might have to convince you this could work,” she said. He chanced a look, and her cheeks were a lovely pink.

“If you want to find a man to have a baby with, I won’t stop you,” he said, feeling flustered and unsure of himself. And foolishly heartbroken. It’s not like they had made promises to each other. They hadn’t said a word about their relationship. He would be an asshole if he told her no on behalf of his feelings.

“Oh. All right,” she said. He wished he wasn’t driving so he could better read her expressions. 

The car fell silent again. His boredom lost, Roy stewed over the idea that his beloved subordinate wanted a baby. With someone else.

Riza was an idiot. Of course Mustang didn’t want children with her. They hadn’t even kissed. It would be a big jump to go from that to making a baby, she just thought…Well. It didn’t matter.

But the idea of having a baby with someone else was abhorrent. If Mustang wasn’t the father, she didn’t want a baby at all. She stared out the window, swallowing back the lump in her throat.

She hadn’t just wanted a baby, she’d wanted his baby. That was what she hadn’t been able to bring herself to tell him outright, giving him an opening for a polite rejection—which he had taken. Not once had he brought up the possibility of being the father of her hypothetical baby. He’d been all for her having one, just not with him. It felt like a slap to the face, though she knew he must have his reasons.

Whatever they were.

She suddenly flipped from sad to offended. Maybe she didn’t want the polite rejection. 

“I thought you liked children,” she said, crossing her arms.

She eyed him, growing confused as he squirmed in his seat. “When did I say I didn’t like children?”

“You didn’t. I’m just trying to understand you.” She hesitated, always afraid to put things into words.

“What else do you want from me? I thought we went over it as thoroughly as we could. It’s not like you’re pregnant now.”

“What else do I want from you?” She parroted, indignant. “So you just don’t want children at all?”

“Me? Why does it matter if I want children or not? You’re the one who wants to run off and have babies.” Oh. She saw it then, the slump in his shoulders, the clenched jaw. Her superior, the smartest, dumbest man she knew.

“I think you’ve misunderstood, sir.” She paused for a beat. “Roy,” she said, his name soft and shy on her lips. She put her hand on his shoulder.

“Please enlighten me,” he demanded hoarsely. Oh no. She’d hurt him. She rushed to correct him.

“I was inarticulately asking if you wanted to have a baby with me.” Her sweater suddenly felt stiflingly hot. The question was out there, no takebacks, no polite rejection.

“Ah, yes. I misunderstood,” he said, sounding strangled. She sighed, pulling her hand back. Maybe she shouldn’t have asked while he was driving. Or sober. Maybe she should have started smaller—proposed an affair while they were away. That would’ve been less shocking. No, she’d skipped several steps and went straight for the long-term commitment.

He let the car slow to a creep, then pulled over underneath a lone tree in the grass. There was nothing but pasture for miles. At least it was a pretty spot for her superior to lose his mind. Her heart thundered in her chest, even as she kept her expression  
patiently neutral. She straightened the hem of her skirt.

“Do you know what you’re asking, Hawkeye?” He still wouldn’t face her, staring resolutely ahead.

"I believe I made a lot of points proving I do,” she said stiffly.

He looked at her then, dark eyes filled with want. In return, her belly knotted with desire. She had seen that expression a few times when they were alone and no one else could witness it. He would look her over until she was too tempted to endure it any longer. She either averted her eyes or excused herself. There had never been anything they could do about it before. Even now, he was still her superior. She just didn’t care anymore.

“It means you want me inside you,” he whispered, leaning toward her, his larger frame invading the small space of the front seat. Her breath caught in her throat. “You’re asking me to come in you as many times as it takes to get you pregnant.” Her whole body tightened as his words sank in. Explicit words. Nothing could be playfully misinterpreted now. “Are you okay with that?”

She took in an unsteady breath, holding his gaze. “Yes. I don’t want just any baby. I want yours.”

He groaned before launching himself past the last few inches of space between them. His mouth crashed into hers, arms snaking around her waist, whisking her into his lap. He devoured her, tongue seeking and stroking, sending shockwaves down to her toes.

There had been a reason she had not so much as kissed him before. Once she started…she knew she’d never be able to give him up. His hands slipped under her sweater, which he swiftly removed. Then his mouth was back on hers, and she moaned as he groped her breasts, shoving her bra callously out of the way so he could cup them fully. It was like he couldn’t get to her skin fast enough.

Realizing he was dominating the moment, she adjusted her body to straddle him, grinding down on his erection, desperate for friction. With the skirt flared over her thighs, the thin material of her underwear did little to muffle the sensations of pressing into him.

“God, I’ve wanted this for so long,” he gasped, his hips thrusting up to meet hers.

“Me too.”

“You should’ve said something.”

“But then we can’t work together anymore,” she said, giving up kissing to nibble on his neck instead. She wanted to work as his adjutant as long as she could.

“No one has to know.” He tilted her back until he could dip his head down to wrap his lips around her breast, knocking most of her reasoning for why this was a bad idea out of her head. It was actually a very, very good idea. “We’ve kept secrets bigger than this. And like you said, it’s not like you’re going to get pregnant right now.”

She whimpered.

“Rushing into that would be a bad idea.” His words were teasing as his fingers traveled down her side and under her skirt, pushing her underwear out of the way. She was slick and hot with desire, and she dug her hands into his shoulders, holding onto him as he eased two fingers inside her, his thumb working her clit rhythmically.

She sighed, leaning forward to capture his mouth again, though it made it more challenging for him to maneuver his fingers. She shifted higher on her knees, giving him space to move.

And oh. She clenched down on his fingers, rocking gently to stimulate that bundle of nerves that felt oh-so-good, gasping with each pulse of his hand. She was close, embarrassingly wet and ready for him.

“I want you in me,” she said, her head falling to his shoulder. Her legs trembled.

“Not yet,” he replied, sounding like he was gritting his teeth in concentration. “You first. Then I’m going to sink into you—feel you wrapped so tight around me—”

She let out a throaty whine, her whole body tensing from her breasts through her center, down to her curling toes. She clung to his neck, holding herself up on shaky legs as her release flooded through her, rippling on his fingers still buried inside her. There was a moment of perfect contentment before she began thrusting down on his fingers again.

“More,” she whispered, her mouth pressed hot against his ear, his messy hair tickling her nose. She loved how his hands became a flurry of action, undoing his belt and shoving his pants out of the way. His erection sprung up, hard and leaking.

“Fuck, sorry,” he said through his teeth, tearing her underwear in two in a feat of complete desperation. She almost laughed in shock until he rubbed the head of his length against her opening.

Instantly, she was as needy as he was again. She sank down on him slower than she wanted to, but it had been a long time, and her body stretched in an achingly good way as her core accepted him. It occurred to her then that while they had just been saying she shouldn’t get pregnant right away, they had nothing to protect against pregnancy here in the car. Oops. It was so unlike her—but so was riding her superior in a car in broad daylight. Maybe Roy’s impulsivity had made an impression on her at long last.

“Do you—do you think we could then? Have a baby?” To hell with it. “Or two?” she asked between kisses.

He moaned. “Yes. Yes, I want it so much. I don’t deserve it, but…I’m a weak man.”

She laughed softly. “I think the world deserves to have your child in it, too.” She kissed him soundly, willing all her love and devotion to reach him.

When she pulled away, he stared back at her, dazed and utterly blown away. “I must have done something right to have you by my side.”

“Or on top of you,” she said slyly, lifting her hips and sliding back down sharply.

“Damn, I really want to finish inside you,” he hissed, groping for her hips and guiding her pace as she brought him closer to orgasm.

“I want that too.” She shivered at how animalistic she was becoming. Her sensibilities flew out the window as her body’s craving for him consumed her every thought. She wanted him to fill her with every drop of come he could.

“I shouldn’t,” he said, more to himself. “But I want to,” he tugged her down onto him, hard.

“You should,” she said, then kissed him, toying with his tongue. He was so hard and stiff inside her, and her body was so, so ready. Drenched and aching for him. “It’s a bad idea but I feel like I’m going to scream if you don’t finish in me.”

He groaned miserably. “Riza. Don’t say things like that.” His thrusts grew erratic, like he was holding back.

“Roy,” she countered. “How likely is it that I’ll get pregnant from just one time?”

“Not—not very likely,” he gasped.

“I’m willing to risk it…if you are,” she said, squeezing her thighs and tightening around his cock. “I’ll do what you want me to do.”

“You mean that?”

“I do. I’ll have no regrets either way.” The frustration she’d feel at him pulling out would be…astronomical. But she didn’t want him to have regrets either.

“I love you so much,” he panted, abruptly reversing their positions so she was flat on her back, their legs crammed against the car door. Her arms went up to brace herself as he began to slam into her urgently, losing all pretense of control.

“Roy, please. Finish in me,” she murmured against his shoulder, biting down on it gently. She wanted him to remember her asking for it, so he could never doubt she wanted him again.

He buried his face in her neck, their bodies crushed together as close as humanly possible as he spilled inside her, his cock so deeply buried there was no mistaking his intentions. Her body felt hot and achy—like she would be ready for another round as soon as he was.

For now, she wanted to hold him against her half naked body, savoring the scent of his shampoo in her nose and the feel of his hips snug between her thighs.

She spent years loving him, now she wanted him.

Roy was reluctant to move away from the lovely heat of Riza’s body. It was only the promise of leg cramps that finally convinced him to sit up and help her find her sweater. He sighed in disappointment as she fixed her bra and tugged the sweater over her head. There was still an uncharacteristically mischievous twitch to her lips, and she openly stared as he tucked himself in and buttoned his pants. Holy hell, he wanted her again as soon as possible—in a bed, where he could stretch her out and take his time.

What a whirlwind. One minute he was convinced she was breaking up with him, the next he had bluffed his way into getting her to say the dirtiest things he’d ever heard leave her mouth. More reason to love her.

“Still no regrets, sir?” she asked, hiding her torn underwear in her purse.

“No,” he said, distracted as he considered she was now wearing nothing beneath her prim and proper skirt. He could run his hand up her thigh and feel how wet she was—coated with his release.

He cleared his throat and started the car. They needed to find an inn, and soon.

“What about you, Captain?” He watched her face carefully this time.

“Maybe it was a bit…premature to get so carried away, but no, I regret nothing.” She pressed her lips together. “Well, maybe the itinerary I made. We’re going to be late for our reservation.”

The beginnings of a new erection stirred. “The damage is done,” he said, shrugging. “We might as well take our time.” His hand slipped under her skirt, up to her inner thigh, a part of him still expecting her to smack him away.

No, she let out a breathy, pleased noise. He turned the car back off, deciding he couldn’t go on without hearing her fall apart on his hands again. Or maybe his mouth. He grinned as she willingly parted her legs.

And he’d thought he’d have to convince her. At this rate, the whole itinerary was going to need rearranged.


End file.
